The short answer for that is no. No, we are not ready. How can we possibly ready for sleepless nights and a December holiday waiting with baited breath for baby to arrive and turn our whole world upside down? Not to mention finding extra money each month just to get through. No. Not ready. Excited and terrified, yes!
We have now finished our 6-week long antenatal class, along with 7 other first-time parents-to-be, and apparently we now have all the information we will need to go out into the world and be great Moms. Well shucks, I can hardly remember what we learned in the first week of class and now I’m supposedly ‘ready’. We were given various pamphlets at each class, had a talk from a paediatrician, a psychologist, a nurse and safety official, a pilates instructor and an occupational therapist, all to arm us with all the info we need. We learned about breastfeeding and the various birthing methods, how to bath and care for a newborn and watched some scary videos. But none of this is any good to anyone until the baby is actually born. And how this little baby is going to enter the world is out of our control. We can plan all we like for a natural birth but if he doesn’t turn head down this ain’t gonna happen. How we are going to feed him (bottle or breast) and whether we will get him to sleep in his own cot from the very beginning is also out of our control. We don’t know if he will need OT, if we will be at the paed every week or if we will both end up with postnatal depression. With the vast amount of information we received during antenatal classes, from the amazing baby apps on Barbs phone, baby books and advice from friends and family, we still have no clue how we will be as parents.
But there are some things I do know. I do know that we are each others’ world. I do know that we want this little baby so much and he is already so loved. I do know that we will try our very best to be exactly what he needs and exactly what each other needs, every day. We will do it our way. Maybe not the best way, but “our way” works for me. Sure, you may come and visit us and the dishes might not be done, and we might both look like the Wreck of the Hesperus and have had nothing to eat but lasagne for two days, but we will be happy. A happy little trio. That much I do know. Ok, so maybe we are ready 🙂
So being the “Other Mommy” of Little Spot has had some fun moments already. I am clearly not growing a baby in my belly but I am mentally preparing for becoming a Mom. It’s surreal to say the least but I am amazed at this little being already, and so damn grateful to Barbs for everything she has done to get us so close to becoming a family of three. EEEEKKKK! Ok just breathe.
They tell you that in antenatal classes… just breathe. Everything will be fine. We had some interesting moments getting the baby in, and now it seems we will have even more fun getting the baby out.
At our first every antenatal class, having arrived all bright-eyed and ready to learn about our darling bundle of joy, we took turns introducing ourselves as couples and parents-to-be. The very excited dad in the front row introduced himself and his wife, the nervous couple in the back did the same, followed by the couple sitting next to us – who had definitely not figured us out yet. When Barbs introduced me as her wife and the dad from the next door couple’s eyes just got bigger and bigger. I’m pretty sure he was thinking, “so how did they actually get the baby in there??? And they are both girls – how on earth did they possibly make a boy???” Mind absolutely blown.
The following antenatal class was a lesson on exercises for the moms-to-be to keep the muscles supple and strong. The midwife asked all the dads to go and wait outside while the moms did their exercises. So where should I go – outside with the dads (probably to talk about rugby and how glad they are that they don’t have to do exercises – sounds rad) or stay with the moms? The midwife said I should stay with the moms. OK cool, she knows way more than I do, so I better listen and stay with the moms. The pilates lady came in and did a little intro to all the moms-to-be and kinda looked at me suspiciously as if to say, “lady, I can see you’re not pregnant, what are you doing here?” And probably thinking, “shame maybe she’s a bit cuckoo and thinks she’s pregnant… let’s leave her alone and help her with her fake preggie exercises.” So there I was, in amongst all these preggie bellies learning to control my pelvic floor muscles, stretch my abdomen, hold the muscles around the baby and of course… breathe. And try not to look at Barbs too much because I’ll definitely laugh.
The lesson ended with the obligatory, awful natural birthing video, made in the 90’s, complete with a perm. The man next to us (who after two weeks still hadn’t quite figured out how we got this right) was turning more and more green as the video went on. When the placenta made its appearance he said loudly “WHAT is THAT?!?!” He and his wife didn’t arrive at last night’s class, I think the whole thing was just too much for him.
As we learn more about this little bundle we are going to look after ALL OUR LIVES (showee about that breathing thing) I can’t help feel that we are the luckiest people in the whole world! The wonders of the 21st century and modern medicine have helped us to become what all little girls dream of – a Mommy. Well not yet, 3 months to go and I’m sure more fun and games with antenatal class on the way soon!