All the books and blogs tell you to draft your birth plan well ahead of time – to make sure your wishes are clear for all concerned on the big day, to get everyone on the same page, so to speak. And that’s all good and well, but let’s be realistic for a second here – you don’t honestly think you have any control over what happens on said big day, do you?
Let’s take my experience for example – I had a pretty thorough birth plan, one that included a couple of “in the event of” clauses, outlining what we’d like if we had to have a Caesar, or if he had to go to NICU. And you know how many things on my “birth plan” we got? Zero. Not a single one. OK, he wasn’t circumcised, but that’s it about it.
I did not have a natural birth. I did not manage to avoid a spinal. I had to have a Caesar. We did not get delayed chord clamping or skin-to-skin time after birth and he ended up on formula almost immediately because my milk only really came in on day 3.
That said, I’m all for recording your thoughts on how you’d like things to go, just remember, it really is out of your hands on the day. With that in mind, my advice would be to put together a birth wish list. Although my birth plan had built in contingencies for Caesar and, on the day, we were pretty flexible about things (and we had to be), not getting what we’d hoped for out of the experience could easily have spiraled and contributed to post-natal depression. So it’s really important to remember that, ultimately, it’s not you who is in control, it’s your little bundle and consciously ceding that control is the only way you can hope to avoid feeling a bit like you’ve failed when things don’t go the way you’d hoped.