Anonymous, but not entirely

After we’d selected our donor of choice, we moved forward with the process of artificial insemination. The process itself has the future oven mommy (in this case me), taking a variety of hormone supplements to ensure the production of a good healthy egg or two. Once the doctor is satisfied that you’ve got enough eggs in the slow cooker, you have an injection into your tummy, which triggers the release of said eggs down the tubes an into the uterus. The next day, and the one following that, they implant the swimmers and you hope for the best.

And then, you wait. The most agonizing two-week wait of your life. Then you have a blood test, the results of which either makes you jump and shout for joy or make you close your eyes and whisper, “maybe next time.”

During that first two-week waiting period we were chatting to friends, who casually mentioned they’d been chatting to other mutual acquaintances (one of whom I happened to date in a past life), who had mentioned they were also trying for a baby. The conversation had progressed to the point where they had shared the code assigned to their “anonymous” donor by the cryobank. Heart stopping shock – we’d used the same donor! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are hundreds of couples out there right now considering using the donor we were eventually successful with, the difference is we don’t know them and we definitely didn’t date them.

Although sad the attempt was unsuccessful, I was – at least in part – relieved. Both couples agreed to choose a new donor and move on from there. We’ve had a good laugh about it subsequently, but at the time, the thought of our child and the child of one of my exes sharing biology was one to make us shudder.

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